How to Deal with Your Teenage Daughter’s Pregnancy

Perhaps the most dreaded thing all parents don’t want to hear is this phrase coming from their teenage daughter: “Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant.” For sure there would be countless of emotions to be felt and thoughts with which to struggle.  However, just like with any other ordeal, you have to deal with such a situation by reacting to the situation the proper way in order to move on eventually.

1. Stay Calm

It is important to keep your cool.  Keep in mind that your teenage daughter’s being pregnant does not reflect on yourself as a parent or how you raised her.  It may be that she has wanted to tell you about it and was looking for the right time.  She might be ready for what you have to say, too. Keep in mind that when she finally shares her situation with you, it’s likely a relief for her. She knows that she messed up and she chose to seek your comfort and tell you about it instead of running away and keeping the problem to herself. Shouting at her won’t do any good. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed about it.  But instead of forcing the issue in that state, ask for some time to consider and evaluate the situation after you’ve kept your composure.

2. Look at the Situation Carefully

Make no assumptions just yet.  Instead, assess the situation by asking questions. Probe the essential things like the date she is due to give birth, how far along she is in her pregnancy, does the father of the baby she is carrying have any plans, etc.  Discuss whether she plans to keep the baby or is if she is considering adoption or other options.

3. Determine How Much Help You Can Extend

Decide what form of support or help you can give and if you are willing to give it. It may be that you don’t have much to give financially, but the mere fact that you are there for your daughter emotionally can do a lot of help to ease the situation. In this case, you can set up a time to meet with the parents of the baby’s father to get an idea of what is on their minds.

4. Teach the Teens to Help Themselves

Make your daughter—as well as the baby’s father—learn how to be independent. Help them—but only to an extent. It’s good that you give them a hand at first; however, don’t be the one to take care of everything. Make them responsible for things like making appointments with the doctor and the other things they need.

5. Move Forward and Let Go of the Negative Feelings

This does not spell the end, so let go and move on. You can seek professional help with a counselor if you are having a hard time doing so. Keeping yourself upset and disappointed is not making the situation any better. Just be happy for the choices your daughter is making and don’t intervene because she has the last say in her situation.