How to Deal With Your Teens’ Holiday Sexual Adventure

The unvoiced fear behind much of the resistance to teenagers going off on their own on holiday is that they might exploit this license and become sexually active. As the flood of letters that hits the desks of agony aunts every September can testify, the holiday romance is indeed a serious danger. A group of young people going away together can often egg each other on with exaggerated tales of sexual adventures, and elaborate plans for future conquests. The tragedy is that much of this is empty boasting, and it is often those with the least experience and the least ability to cope with the consequences who seek to impress their friends by actually going ahead.

Holiday romances, however, are not just the result of showing off. Being on holiday has a distinct effect on our romantic tendencies, whether we are 16 or 60. It can remove our inhibitions, and the freedom from stress and routine, the influence of beautiful surroundings and exotic food and drink all relax us. Most people take particular care of their appearance on holiday and are very conscious of their own and other people’s bodies. In putting on special clothing, we put on a new image and a new persona. Somehow, what we do while away can be left behind when we go home, especially since it is unobserved by our local gossips! We may feel able to act in ways that we would never entertain back home.

Sexual Adventure

People of both sexes can find themselves becoming more emotionally involved and physically freer with a new acquaintance at short notice, than they would in their own familiar surroundings. Being on holiday gives you the opportunity to live out your fantasies and to claim you are older, wealthier, more experienced and better employed than in reality. Fears of pregnancy, of what the neighbors or your family will say, or of catching a sexually transmitted disease, do not intrude on such a fantasy.

There are two important points to note. Firstly, none of this can be confined to holidays away from parents. The effect can be simmering beneath your very nose in your own hotel, and the only way you could guard against it would be to watch over your teenager’s every move. This would blight your holiday as well as theirs! Secondly, it isn’t only teenagers who fall for this trap. Adults do too, if they have never had the chance to consider what they are doing. You may protect your offspring throughout their teenage years by overseeing their holidays, only to have them severely hurt on the first holiday they take away from you as a grown up. If you want to protect them now and in the future, the best way is not by mounting guard, but by bringing the subject out into the open and discussing it with them. Young people are likely to be more wary and choosey if they are aware of the insidious effects of sun, sea and palm trees – or sun, snow and ski poles – on their emotions. Life guards, waiters and ski instructors always seem attractive, and can have new bed partners every week of the season from those taken in by their fractured English, practiced charm and air of sophistication. A broken heart can possibly be avoided if you could help both your sons and daughters to separate the possibility of a real ‘love at first sight’ from just the heightened sensations of an exciting holiday.

Filed Under: Family & Relationships


About the Author: Roberta Southworth is a psychiatrist by profession. She likes to help out people by writing informative tips on how people can to solve their family and relationship issues. She is currently staying in Ireland. She has 5 years of couple counseling experience.

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