How to React When your Teen Explores their Sexuality


Both boys and girls may be involved in sexual play with a close friend or companion. Girls, probably because their genitals are more hidden than boys, are far more discreet about their activities, to the extent of frequently not even admitting them to themselves or being aware of what they are doing. Rather than masturbating in company, they might display a similar impulse in sharing with each other an infatuation with a particular figure. In getting together to discuss this person, they can generate quite a high level of intense and sexual excitement.

Teen Sexuality

You might find your teenagers’ preoccupations extremely embarrassing. Because they are still at a very early stage of this development, they can, innocently, be quite open about intimate feelings we normally keep private. They also may not realize just how blatantly sexual is their interest. It is often very tempting for you to want to remove an area of discomfort by stopping the expressions that trigger it. Unfortunately, this usually has the effect, not of requesting the young person to be more discreet, but of making them feel dirty, guilty and unnatural in their behavior. Instead of preserving your privacy and theirs, what develop is secrecy, and a conviction on their part that sex and emotional attachments are not something to discuss with you. If you want them to see you as the sort of parent they can confide in, this is the time not to drive them away in your efforts to spare your own blushes.

However, you do need to respect their need for privacy. They should be able to have time alone in their own rooms, or the loud remarks about what they might be doing in there. The; might just be thinking or reading. Or, they may be looking themselves, touching themselves or, indeed, even masturbating.

If you find it difficult to give them space and time for such exploration, you should ask yourself why it alarms or worries you. Masturbation is hardly a harmful or unusual activity, and self-pleasing brings many advantages with it. If they are familiar with their own body and its responses, they are far less likely to be caught by surprise at the overwhelming reaction they might have to someone else’s caresses. How many young people have had full sexual intercourse because they did not recognize their own or their partner’s sexual excitement, had not expected become so aroused and were too astonished to call a halt? Conversely, how many couples have deep-seated and long-term sexual problems because the woman has never learnt how best to please her man has only learnt to please him and that at a fast trot and neither has learnt to communicate their needs to each other?

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About the Author: Alan Kennon lives a very happy life with two kids and a lovely wife. He likes to share his life time experiences with others about how they can improve their lifestyle and personality.

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